paranoia


 

They’re replacing me. They found one world they want, now they’re collecting bits of me to emulate it. They are building their dreams from my eyes and closing new sights to me. There’s a mocha espresso with hazelnut where used to be my fingertips making electricity with your curls, singing slowly through your skull. There is a wide screen swinging plastic soldiers and control dead between our crazy mood fights, they are making angry that didn’t snap from my mind and vents I don’t fit in. They’re building canals with my tears and putting on a flow show to fascinate you as I dissolve a little faster. They’re making scents that hold whole conversations between us and only talk about themselves. They’re writing about my heart as if it is transplanted into their words and estranged from you and me. They are cutting my wild free bounty and planting weeds, they grow thick and green and call it survival. They are stretching my dead skin across their dead wood and pounding out heartbeats so much louder than mine. Then they build a stage and call me to compete. They keep moving you around and now whenever I look at the center of the universe, I see nothing, anything. Like you have been pulled out carefully wrapped in ginger bubbles and stowed away for special occasions. Their occasions just never seem to get special enough. I feel afraid. Regretful, sad, unsure, unavailable. I wonder if they feel the same, or if they succeeded in freezing who I used to be.

 
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3 Responses

  1. That is a very new style for you, Ms Mist and very pleasing to read. An essay of a kind, tracing a particular thought, influence, spot-light. It is a kind of surrealist portrait beautifully done, stretching each sentence into an image, a great painter could turn it into a stunning painting. It is a fantastic piece of writing, unravelling a thought carefully and precisely.

    You are very kind Mr.Squires; I would like to say I was trying something new, but consciously not, thank you for your wonderful words :)!

  2. your vision is great… this made me vision my life and all the bits of randomness which floats through my mind… i am the sum of my parts, including my mind… these random images have created a whole new world and through the chaos and fear there is a sense of calm… perhaps it is because the image froze. this paranoia is chaos at its best… perfect. you made me think and see ~way~ outside the box

    ~Thanks Enreal :)!

  3. Came here through Meera San’s blog and am glad I did. Lovely writings 🙂

    ~Thanks Serene Musings!

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