a school of long ago

today i learned a valuable lesson. it was from one of the same old wishing wells i go to for answers, nothing blazeshock, only today i listened with a different ear, i have many many ears for listening, i wear them like shoes, matching and mismatching, one for each occasion, mostly frivolous


i had just broken in my new ear with a new madness, it still bites a little, and i heard how i must see and think, through you, for you are love to me, the kind only possible stupid mad blindly and always with dire warning.


i discovered something marvellous. when i tried to look into the world as i look into your eyes, i closed my ears unconsciously and looked effortless into its heart. the pain shocked me, as did the renewal of something precious


when from the day you no longer loved me, i understand, you did not want me to look into your eyes, with those ridiculous laugh lines on such an earnest face, it was all i could do today to not hug you and cry, when you smiled beside me as if it all still were, i felt the irreparable again, but today i found a way to move it around.


i never could would move it away, although i told an ear to say so when asked, you may not love me any more, but i cannot ever stop, or give it away, and today, i found a way to feel it all again, and i marvel at how powerful it was, for a supremely selfish flitterbug like me, you were my first free miracle and now i no longer misjudge the wallop the world can pack when its trying on a tsunami for size


so if i cannot be passe i must be protected, but cautious perversely became total depravity, when i saw there are no tsunami shelters for sane living, now i dont make excuses, i don’t try to do anything but what i must, today i learned to look into the world within your eyes, i learned i still don’t want the world as much as i want your eyes

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