I am at work right now, in a corner, quietly minding my own business, pretending to work when these hooligans from the next cubicle started chattering in loud voices. I am not a big fan of the white noise. When I am musing, everyone is expected to hold their tongues, and their breaths too preferably.
Anyhoo, they took no notice of my stiffened spinal cord (cmon, it was screaming shut up to anyone with half an eye!) and went right on chattering. I winced and plugged my iPod into my head. Rammstein started screaming directly into my brain…
Ahhhhhh…. Peace… On to the musing now…
I have been in mild depression for over two weeks now. My thoughts have been running around in ellipses* … It’s an entering thirty crisis mostly. I have a career which I dunno if I like or not (I am basically opposed to the concept of *work* in theory and practice).
And now finally, I have gotten delusions of becoming a writer. Where I come from, roti, kapda, makaan** come first, last and in-between. If I ever were to confess that I am planning to throw my job away to my family (from a cellphone in another country, of course), I would be hunted down and incarcerated spontaneously.
And yet, I am not ashamed to admit, I have considered it. Visions of me sitting in a cozy armchair, a big mug of hot chocolate in one hand, a nice book (research) in another, musing furiously into the distance, fill my thoughts. When I was younger, I dreamed a sheikh from some oil rich nation would sweep me away into his harem and my destiny of doing nothing for a lifetime would finally come true. Now the sheikh has been squashed, I dream no more. The pathos of life…
I am unsure where the want to write came from, but it is inexplicably tied in with my want to read. I have come to realize I am a compulsive reader and writer. And also reluctantly, I have come to accept it and to figure I could have done a lot worse, as compulsions go.
For helping me get through this particular semi-midlife crisis, my grateful thanks to
Mr.M.D for listening patiently to my ideas, my endlessly fascinating, can I cant I should I shouldn’t I’s and leaving me with enough positive energy to believe in myself
Ms.M.S. for being an OSSOME pal to whine to, hang out with and bounce crazy ideas off.
After that came the question, who do I write for? In my head, I desperately wanted to write for me and me alone, but I ended up doing market surveys of popular concepts anyway. It made me feel dirty somehow 😦 … Then I decided I would actually put hands to keyboard and worry about popularity later.
So well, after coming to this decisive decision, I asked a lot of people why they write and who they write for, so as to make it more decisive. Some answers that helped me on my way being those of Purplesilt, Jake Miller, Ocellus, Psychonaut and a few others I lost track of in the vast misty interwebs…
The answers have echoed clear enough with my own answers to proceed to the next step. I have made some decisions. I may suck but I will improve. I may suck but I am going to write anyway. I googled and found these mighty helpful epistles on becoming a serious writer, and writing a novel. Here they are,
Advice for Beginning Writers from Crawford Killian
Bottom line, The Legacy of Survival is going to get written, whether its good or not. Deal with it world! Also,
* Elliptical thoughts sounded fancier than circles – They follow a circular trajectory, then suddenly looks like there’s hope, for sometime, the curve eases up, then hope is dashed and the circular path resumes gently
** Roti, kapda, makaan – Hindi for food, clothing, shelter
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: life, thoughts, writing |
Mental Mist 
“After that came the question, who do I write for? In my head, I desperately wanted to write for me and me alone, but I ended up doing market surveys of popular concepts anyway. It made me feel dirty somehow.”
This is a road we have both been down along with countless others. I don’t know you at all. I don’t know where you live — not even what continent, but we’ve thought the same thoughts about our own individual thoughts. At the risky of sounding melodramatic, it’s these types of random (are they though?) connections that reinforce my view that we’re all one.
On the lighter side, I’ve only been blogging for 3 months. I’ve noticed the posts that get the most attention (besides the ones that include the word “porn”) are the ones that I write merely for my own amusement or my own musing.
I enjoyed your post, and thanks for the funny comment on my site. Take care, and keep writing.
Thanks for the mention. You’ll find more recent advice at two of my sites: Writing Fiction (http://crofsblogs.typepad.com/fiction/ ) and Write a Novel (http://crofsblogs.typepad.com/novel/ ), which is a do-it-yourself mini-course in writing fiction.
Good luck with your writing, in whatever genre.
@Supercynic – I too find these sudden connections quite amazing. its wonderful how we could all be so connected inspite of such different lives we lead :)!!
Thanks for you comment and do visit again :)!!
@Crawford Killian – A BIG THANK YOU Crawford, for taking out time to explain the basics to so many of us groping in the dark 🙂 … I have updated my post with your current links
“The answers have echoed clear enough with my own answers to proceed to the next step. I have made some decisions. I may suck but I will improve. I may suck but I am going to write anyway.”
Ah, determination and a great attitude. Keep those! Best advice I can give you is to stick to your guns, write something everyday, and yes, write for yourself–mainly. When it comes right down to it, you have to do it for yourself. Those market trends are constantly changing and who knows, you may start one yourself.
Most important, don’t quit. You’ve got a relatively early start and time to grow and bloom. I always wanted to write, but I never actually sat down at the computer and did anything about it until I was in my forties. But once I did, there was no stopping me. Within a year, I had my first contract with an e-publisher and within a year after that, my first contract with a print publisher. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful you’re going to feel when that happens to you!
BTW, great links. I scanned them and bookmarked them so I can go back. Thanks and best of luck to you!
Caitlyn
I’ve worried about audiences and how popular anything I write would be in publication, but it’s just not worth it. After Eragon’s success, I could have tried to write a snazzy dragon novel, but by the time you’ve written, submitted, and published a book, the rest of the world has moved on from dragons. If whatever a writer writes comes from a passion within him/her, it’ll be a much more enjoyable read than anything that’s written simply to capitalize on a recent trend or fad.
Thanks for the mention!
@caitlynhunter – Thanks very much, Caitlyn for these encouraging words… I will treasure them when I feel like giving up :)!
Congratulations, on finding your dream and making it happen! Thats wonderful for you :)!!! I really liked the ideas you had shared, I hope I get to read your books!! Thanks for sharing your experiences and do visit again :)!!
@Jake Miller – Hey Jake, welcome back :)! Yeah you’re absolutely right, genuine writing hits all the right nerves of the reader… I must endeavor to stop thinking in the commercial vein 😦 … Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts :)… Do visit again!
Girl, just keep writing… I think when it is *time* things will just rolling. I hate to say that… sound preaching, but what the hell!
I believe you are absolutely great – fanatastic – love reading, although I ain’t addicted yet 😀
I hope you get lot of time away from hooligans 😀 and with hooligans, who knows they might offer you material to write 😉
Thanks Estamani 🙂 !!! Its wonderful to hear that always, keeps me going… Yeah, everyone offers me material to write, then I mangle it mostly :((
Not addictive yet? I’ll just have to try harder won’t I 😉 …
I have much the same feelings, emotions and doubts as you, probably every budding writer does. Maybe the ones who eventualy make it as writers are the ones who don’t give up:).
Wishing you luck:)
~MM – Encouragement is priceless hope 🙂 ! Thanks DamyantiG!
If you want it..it will happen…I can speak from experience. (You have no idea). 🙂 For one thing I wanted to be an artist..to paint was my dream.
I don’t usually leave links on blogs, but this post may encourage you. Take a peek sometime, if you wish.
http://island11.wordpress.com/2007/12/31/new-beginnings-and-the-magic-box/
Just keep writing, and remember:
“… if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life he/she has imagined,
he will meet with success in uncommon hours.”
~Henry David Thoreau
This quote began my journey, and I still carry it in my wallet.
By the way…you write beautifully! 🙂
Good and creative energies to you!
~gypsy-heart
Thank you Gypsy Heart, I am touched by your words!! I feel positive and uplifted. I needed it at this time. It feels heart-warming and marvellous to be given a helping hand from the blue, especially a hand such as this!!
hi,
may I call you a potential writer ?
Wish u all the best , you have every qualities to be a good writer U write like Paulo Cohello of The Alchemist.
~MM – Hey Sanjiwan, thank you, I hope I deserve the compliment :)!